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    Friday, December 29, 2017

    Reversible psychology: how does it work?



    You probably did this many times, and did not even suspect that you were doing it - a reversible psychology. This phenomenon has a simple principle of operation. You want someone to do something, but absolutely sure of refusal, even after a polite request. Therefore, you ask the person to do something exactly the opposite of what you need. For example, you unsuccessfully ask your husband to paint the bedroom. But as soon as you say to him: "Do not worry, I'll paint it myself - anyway I can paint walls better than you", be sure, the husband will immediately pick up a brush.

    "Reversible psychology often works because everyone needs independence," says Dr. Jeanette Raymond, a licensed psychologist, psychotherapist and relations expert from Los Angeles. "It's much more encouraging to feel that you did something of your own volition, and not because someone forced you, forced you, shamed you, or threatened to break off the relationship."

    In psychotherapy, reversible psychology is called "paradoxical intervention" (the term "reversible psychology" appeared under the influence of the media). In the paradoxical intervention, the therapist tells the client to behave exactly as the client most wants. For example, if a client wants to overcome procrastination, the therapist offers him to procrastinate one hour a day. The point is that this will help the client focus on the behavior and its possible consequences and let him see that behavior is voluntary and therefore controlled.

    There are some doubts about the ethics of paradoxical intervention in the performance of a professional. Sometimes the patient's problem may be fear, or pain, and in this case asking the patient to intentionally create this condition does not seem acceptable.

    Who works reverse psychology?

    Reversive psychology, or paradoxical intervention, is a relative new concept in psychotherapy, but it has folk origins. For example, it is believed that parents should not warn their child of marriage with an unsuccessful passion, otherwise the wedding will certainly take place. But does it work at all and in any situation?

    Experts believe that reversible psychology has more chances to work on those who do not like to be under control - adolescents. rebels, daffodils, for example. Most people with a passive character warehouse will calmly do what you ask, so there is no need for them in reversible psychology. It will also work better for those who often make emotional decisions, rather than calmly considering their steps.

    Janet Raymond argues that the effectiveness of this method is less dependent on the type of personality than on the dynamics of the relationship. "Where a person struggles for his independence and individuality, paradoxical intervention can work, because a person seeks to do what you forbid him."

    As an example, she mentions Julian Assange, head of WikiLeaks. "The more he was called to stop and the more threats from powerful countries, like the US, he received in his address, the more he ignored them and the sooner he acquired the halo of a martyr," says the therapist. "If they told him that his work was cool and demanded to continue in the same spirit, he probably would not have stuck his line so hard."

    Fortunately, not often we face the challenge of using reverse psychology to stop the dissemination of top-secret government information. Most of us use this method for much more peaceful reasons - in relation to children and their partner, as well as to achieve business goals, as you will learn later.

    Reversible psychology and children

    When nothing else helps, parents often use techniques of reversible psychology with their children.

    Everyone who has children, for sure, often uses this method in dealing with them. Children very often do exactly the opposite of what parents want from them. And like many of us, they do not like it when they are told what to do.

    In one experiment, 2-year-olds were forbidden to play with a certain toy. And suddenly they really needed to play with her. Older children were asked to select any picture of five - but immediately after that they were told that one of them could not be chosen. And what in the end? The forbidden picture was urgently needed by everyone. Other studies have also shown that special cautionary signs made the subject very attractive to children - for example, those that appear on the screen during a television show with violence.

    So, what's the point? Parents can use reverse psychology to prevent the children's natural desire for independence to interfere with their reasonable desires. But parents should do it responsibly and selectively. If you use reversible psychology too often, it will become familiar and stop working. Your children will perceive you as a manipulator, which, of course, is not very good.

    In addition, one should never use "negative" reversible psychology, which can harm a child's personality. For example, never tell a child that he hides his bicycle, because he can not get into the garage without scratching the cars standing next to him. Choose positive and harmless forms of influence. For example, your daughter does not want to have supper. Say it's fine, but when the lunch time is over, it's time to sleep and eat it just will not have time.

    With adolescents, the approach works well when you allow them to make their own choices. For example, if your 16-year-old wants to go to some suspicious activity, tell him or her that you can not force him to stay at home, even if it seems to you that it can be dangerous there. So it's up to you to decide how smart it will be to act. Thus, you successfully resign from your authority, and eventually the child can even obey your advice.

    "Paradoxical intervention does not allow the child to do what he wants, not his parent," says Raymond. - You just inspire the child to do wrong, and in the end it becomes simply not interesting to him. "

    Some psychologists oppose the use of reversible methods in any circumstances. Dr. Vicki Panaccione, a child clinical psychologist, believes that if you praise a child for not doing what you asked, for example, you told your son to continue to grow long hair, and he did a short haircut - you teach him not to obey you. The child will also understand that your words do not always correspond to reality.

    The use of reversible psychology in relationships and business

    Sometimes in relations, partners shy away from frank conversation on certain topics and do not talk about their feelings and emotions. If you understand that this is happening in your pair, you can try to apply reverse psychology. Maybe your half tells you that he wants to take a time out because you are too meticulous. Gladly inform him that you just realized that you probably piled too much on him. And leave him alone for a while. Most likely, he will dramatically change his mind and your relationship will continue.

    Or, perhaps you are discussing having or not having children with your wife. You are firmly convinced that she wants children right now, but says that it will be wiser to wait a little. You say: "Well, let's wait a couple of years." Be prepared for what she suddenly says - we will not wait, come on right now.

    In the case of business, reverse psychology is most effective in sales. Do not use this technique to get people to buy what they do not need. But using it with buyers interested in your products is completely justified.

    There are several ways to apply a reversal approach to sales. The first one is "disqualification of the client". In this scenario, you tell the customer that he can not afford a particular product, or he does not really need it, while expecting that the buyer will want this product even more.

    For example, you help a couple pick up a car. You show them all the cars in the cabin, except for two expensive cars in the corner. They will ask you why they were not shown these machines. You tell them that these cars are too expensive and you think that, most likely, the couple will not be able to afford them. Buyers insist on viewing and eventually buy one of them to prove to you your wrong.

    Another common technique is to offer the buyer to evaluate your product on a scale of 1 to 10 after you have given the customer full information about the product. The buyer evaluates the goods in 7 points. You represent surprise and say that according to his reaction, an assessment of no more than 3-4 points was expected. Often the client further argues his assessment and sells this product to himself, as far as explanations are concerned.

    High conversions!

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